A DESTINY INTERRUPTED

One of the things I've always loved about comic books is that you sometimes get to see "what might have been." The Elseworlds story, the What if? issue or the Days of Future Past type storyline will give you a look into an alternate destiny for one of your favorite characters. And, of course, there's was always the Earth-1, Earth-2, Earth-S, etc scenarios at DC and the alternate dimensions of Marvel to tweak a familiar character in just a little different direction. I personally was always a huge fan of Earth-2 Robin as a kid. I love seeing the adult Dick Grayson without the short pants but still wearing the mantle of Robin. I guess it's always cool to see what would've happened if a character took a different path than the one he/she chose in the past.
For example: What if Peter Parker had never been bitten by a radioactive spider? Well, if things played out the same his uncle STILL gets murdered but he doesn't learn the lesson that with great power comes great responsibility. Spider-Man never catches the burglar and Peter is just a geek who lost his surrogate father. Does he become a biochemist now that he can focus on his studies? Does Aunt May lose her house because Peter can't help out with the money he made taking pics of Spidey? Does he help mankind with his brain instead of his superpowers? He'd never date Betty Brant because he'd never work at the Bugle. Would he date Gwen, who would never die falling from the Brooklyn Bridge?
What "might have been" is a tricky thing.
But sometimes, you can't help but wonder.

A funny thing happened on my way to being one of the greatest comic book creators of all time. My brother killed my first love and I ended up wasting a lot of years wallowing in a drunken stupor, hoping my self destructive behavior might do me a favor and put me out of my misery. You see, I never doubted what I was supposed to do with my life. I was meant to create comics. That was all I ever wanted to do. While I wasn't what you would call a comic geek, I lived for creating comics. I still played sports and had lots of friends and dated and did all the things a regular teenager did. But I did manage to find the time to create 145 heroes complete with rogues galleries (313 villains) and supporting casts (wives, parents, friends, coworkers, etc). I had basically developed my own version of the Marvel Universe, since that was the one I knew inside and out. None of my characters were aliens. None of them were rich millionaires. In fact, I even plotted out the first 100 issues of my "Avengers" superteam's comic complete with marriages, deaths and even a total disbanding and a new team taking their place.
I spent two yrs of high school in what they called Art Careers and I was accepted into Pratt Institute after that. I did very well in all my classes and I believed myself to be talented but I never liked my own artwork. In my entire life, I've only drawn or created about 6 pieces of artwork that I was satisfied with... not a great percentage. Still, I figured I'd get to a level I could live with eventually. I looked forward to that day.
Then life started to happen. I had to leave college in the middle of my second yr to take care of my grandmother who was very sick. She died about 3 weeks after I left school and since I couldn't go back until next semester, I started to work with my father. He paid me a large amount of money to just show up. I enjoyed the money and all the fun I had with it. As a 19/20 year old with just about all the money I could ever need, life became pretty easy. Every night was a party. I chose what I call "the dark side." I chose not to go back to school right away. I chose the easy way out.
And then all hell broke loose as I showed in previous posts.
After Melanie's death, I couldn't draw. I couldn't create. I had no patience for anything. All I wanted to do was drink and slut around. You see when my world began to unravel I was dating someone very special. Her name was Margaret and she was a wonderful girl. We had a great relationship and I really thought we would be together forever. (More on her later) When I began my quick decline into debauchery, she broke up with me. She said she couldn't bear to watch me destroy myself. So not only did I drink to alter an otherwise unpleasant reality, I slutted around looking for anyone to show me I was worthy of love. A very bad combination and I have 5 years of fuzzy memories, one night stands and self loathing to prove that. At age 25, I woke up one morning, after another night of drinking, horribly late for work. I decided to quit instead of calling out sick.
I hated my job.
I hated my apartment.
I hated the women I was dating.
I hated my life. Pure and simple.
I decided to change it. After a couple of months searching for a new direction, I decided that something drastic needed to be done. I joined the Army. I was in service for 3+ years and during that time I started drawing again. I started creating characters again. I decided to go to the Joe Kubert School so I could get my career in comics going. After the Army, I went to the Kubert School and it was in my 3 yrs there that I learned that I no longer wanted to draw. I was a great storyteller. My layouts were crystal clear and I was an excellent writer, but I STILL couldn't stand my own art. I decided to focus on my writing and my inking.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't wasted all those years. If I'd stayed in school or even went back the semester after my grandmother died. Would I have gotten work in the 80's/90's? Would I have gotten my characters published? I truly think I wouldn't have been ready back then and without all I've been through I wouldn't be nearly as capable as I am now.

But, still there I was, 11 years later and a newly graduated Kubert student, embarking on the journey into the only career I ever wanted. My childhood dream was about to come true. I was going to work in comics.

Be careful what you wish for.